Ancient art of the Wat Pho Penis Massage

went for a massage the other day with a korean friend who was in town.
been looking for the perfect massage place for a while...the ones on the beach are perfect - you lie back in the shade listening to the waves crashing on the sand as your knotted muscles are worked over... really nice...
but around where we live, they are either kinda dank and lacking in atmosphere, or just kinda suspicious.
well, the one we went to the other day was all that...
i'd scoped it out a few times as i walked home - it's a 5 minute walk from my place. looked clean and respectable. we walked in, i told them that my friend has shoulder problems and wanted work done on his... shoulders. ordered oil massages, 'cos the regular thai massages can really HURT!
the woman i had was in her early 40s, a little on the large side - looked good and strong. fairly confidence inspiring before a massage
well, when i stripped off, modestly leaving my undies on, and she told me to take them off, i thought - "that's ok - i'm cool with that"... means she could work my butt muscles better - a good butt massage is a thing of joy. i was lying on my front anyway, so everything was modestly concealed.
when it was time to roll over (you always roll over half way through a massage - for arms and chest), i thought it would be time to cover up the nether bits with a towel so she could massage the publicly available bits - but not so - i lay there naked as the day i was born as she massaged my arms and chest...then she got a bit lower. i was half asleep - it was a good massage. she called to me "you want me to massage here?" tapping me on my willy.
i am such an innocent guy - i had an image of the fabulous thai art of the penis massage practiced at wat pho - the budhist temple in bangkok where all the best masseuses learn their art. i wondered for a full 5 seconds how it was possible to massage a penis, and then remembered that the penis doesn't actually have any muscles...only then did it dawn on me what i was being offered.
"no, that's ok" i answered - i mean, this woman was the least likely prostitute i've ever seen - not that i would've been up for it anyway - as it says at the top of this page, i don't visit the whores...
so she went on and massaged my legs and feet (between the toes is really good), i finished up and left.
outside, i asked my friend if he'd had the same offer...
"oh yeah", he said "she wanted 10,000 baht" (about 30,000 Japanese yen, or $400 Aus - he said no too, btw)
my friend is not as innocent as me - apparently that kind of thing is well known in korea - its called a "taliban" in korean strangely enough - "tali" for masturbation, and "ban" for room...wonder if the Afghanis know?
so we walked home laughing - i told my wife - she thought it was funny.

so there you go - if you're into that kind of thing - its hard not to find it in bangkok - if you're not and you just want a good massage, well, i'll keep looking...